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ACADEMIC MENTORING
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Q: Why do young people need mentoring?Jared Kallen: Good mentors model the right actions, attitudes, approach, structure and behaviors that clients will profit from—often exponentially. Mentors frequently succeed where others, such as parents or teachers, have failed simply by virtue of the fact that they are a neutral third party and can be objective. It is easy for me to practice “tough love” when it’s not my child. Due to the pandemic, now more than ever, young people are experiencing record levels of depression, anxiety, despair, and lack of direction. A good mentor will shift a young person’s mindset, model a robust course of action, and gently hold them accountable. Many “traditional” mentors, such as corporate managers, educators or religious leaders, are inundated and do not have the time, resources, or energy to guide young people. I act exactly the way I want my clients to act. It is never theoretical. I show them how I am applying the very same approach to my life. The idea is that young people will see that I am happy and fulfilled and want what I have. Thus, they are more prone to adopt my approach/toolkit.
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Q: How is mentoring an important part of being an effective educational coach?Jared Kallen: A good mentor communicates quickly when his clients get confused or stuck. I am just a text away to provide guidance or strategy in between our weekly sessions. Most mentors do not make themselves available 24/7, and so many students give up until the next session—and thus time and money are lost. I reinforce what I taught in the last session in between sessions, so we don’t have to repeat it. Continuity is king!
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SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST TO GET THE JOB DONE - IT'S THAT SIMPLE.I can't recommend Jared highly enough. Change might be hard, but it is much more achievable when you have Jared as your coach and mentor to guide you through the process. He offers insight that you are not able to see on your own. Through his unique coaching style, he takes you through the journey of the contemplation of your behaviors, motivations, actions and results. Jared has a lot of knowledge and is a great person to work with. Diana Kaelin, Corporate Finance AND aspiring Coach
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Q: How do you approach mentoring? What is your philosophy?Jared Kallen: A good mentor is highly empathetic and encouraging. Simple phrases like, “I get it,” “I have been right where you are now,” “I got you,” and “You do you,” provide unconditional approval right when many students need it the most. They are, after all, trying to decide who they want to be and how they want to be identified. We are trying to alter the young person’s response from “I’ll think about it” to “Yes, I will get it done!” I communicate to my clients that they are never alone. Everyone has had “issues” or “struggles” and the goal is to unite in common suffering and surmount it.
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Q: How do you establish rapport with your students?Jared Kallen: I create a bond with my students by sharing my own story—which eons ago was about lack of motivation, depression and lack of direction—and eventually what turned my situation around. What did change my life was consistency of behaviors, rinse and repeat. Now more than ever, students cannot be lectured or “talked to.” In an age of videogames and iPhone snapchats, they need to be fully engaged and entertained. I offer this to my clients in spades.
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Q: What personal qualities make you an effective mentor to students?Jared Kallen: I’m entertaining, empathetic, engaging, and I use lots of prompting and cueing. I cajole my students by encouraging ownership. I say things like, “I don’t want to put words in your mouth.” Or, I ask, “Are you with me?” or “Should I run that past you again, no problem?” An effective mentor demonstrates a ton of positive energy and extraordinary amounts of patience. I endeavor to embody these attributes.
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Q: How are you an especially effective academic mentor to people with learning differences?Jared Kallen: Many students of all ages believe what they may have been told by teachers, peers, parents, or other significant influences. Prior to a diagnosis, many of these individuals may have felt justified in believing the young person was “stupid, lazy, incompetent, ungrateful, will never be a success, is doomed to a certain type of diminished life….” After a diagnosis, we must promptly eliminate this shaming and blaming so we can move the ball forward. I am particularly adept at letting students know, in no uncertain terms, that their “condition” is not their fault. Treating this challenge is similar to treating diabetes, which I have. We are responsible for doing so to the best of our abilities. Students often understand my diabetes metaphor and it draws us closer. After more than 25 years of serving as a mentor, I know all the ways that people with learning differences either waste their intelligence or abilities, or choose to prosper. I have developed an effective “toolkit” with strategies and techniques designed to halt unproductive behaviors and promote healthy ones.
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Q: How are you an effective mentor to students who don’t have learning differences?Jared Kallen: I apply the same energy, mastery of content, and motivational support to anyone who wants to improve their skills and performance. Students who are underperforming simply need to be equipped with a good model of what “better work” looks like and results usually follow in short order. It is typically a matter of precision coaching for content and disparate tasks and then, of course, closely monitoring client execution.
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Q: How have you seen your students improve their habits, their approach to studies, and their understanding of life under your mentorship?"Jared Kallen: Students must own their past, present, and future. We only look to the past to gain clues as to what might work, and what might not. At first, it might be a guessing game, but the process coalesces swiftly. Many kids procrastinate, for example, and in so doing, ruin their chances of maximizing their potential. So, for procrastinators, we need to hold the line and produce the work: This always leads to better outcomes and grades. Under my tutelage, students swiftly learn to own their academic schedule, plan better, think more critically, and write more clearly. I accept nothing less. To give you one example, one client had not completed his undergraduate degree in four years. His mother called me with a simple and direct request: “Get him graduated!” This involved extensive questioning and developing a plan of action that had zero resemblance to the student’s past efforts (or lack thereof). I am proud to state that this student did graduate, and is now gainfully employed. He has a bright future!
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Q: How do you identify and eliminate students’ unproductive life narratives?Jared Kallen: I first do a great deal of research, gathering information and the “backdrop” from both parents and referring learning specialists and therapists. There really aren’t that wide a variety of narratives that young people produce, they are easy to identify and eliminate. When I first meet with the student, I share my own false narratives and how they handicapped me. I am a reformed perfectionist who earned straight A’s in high school. At one time, I was much less willing to take risks or extend myself because I was always too focused on achieving perfect grades. What does this do? It allows the student to understand that all of us have unhelpful narratives we need to reverse. At this point, a strong rapport has been established and the student feels comfortable delving into his or her false narrative. Every student has a story. If they do not want to delve into it, I gently remind the student that, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”
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Q: How do you reframe your students’ perspective?Jared Kallen: What’s happening in their minds is not their fault, often it’s biological. However, how they respond to what their minds are telling them is their responsibility. I coach them to ask themselves, “Is this true? Or, is it made up?” Once we separate fact from fiction, then the student feels a sense of relief and can more readily focus on the task at hand.
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JARED "GETS" YOUNG PEOPLE -- AND THE RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES -- SIMPLE AS THAT -- GEORGETOWN WAY SCHOOL STUDENT.........Jared GETS teenagers, and, in particular, kids with learning and processing challenges. There are lots of tutors out there- but Jared is different and a cut above. Jared is an ally, coach, mentor and friend. Jared can help with high level academic issues but also maintains the ability to help with study skills on a granular level. Jared was able to help my child become the best version of himself both academically and socially. He was tough when needed -- but also provided a sympathetic ear and warm and helpful support in times of challenge. And there were many of those instances.......... Jared speaks kids’ language and teaches them how to better communicate, self advocate, and execute. We’re grateful to him for the incredible personal and academic growth that he helped -- and succeeded -- nurture in our child. M. Brown, Parent of 12th grade Georgetown Day School student
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JARED "GETS" THE KIDS I SEND HIM -- AND THEY "GET" HIM- GOOD RESULTS FOLLOW...........PETER FITTS, LCSW-C, CHESAPEAKE ADHD CENTER, ROCKVILLE, MDI have collaborated with Jared Kallen, M.S. Ed for over three years now. No matter what young person whom I present to him, he is ALWAYS up for the challenge. He listens carefully, does tons of research, consults with all relevant parties -- and then he works with our young people, using only positive reinforcement. I have seen kids who "hate academics" come around with Jared's guidance and positive energy. I have seen kids go from C's to A- ......... Always flexible, always adaptable, Jared has proven -- time and time again -- that he can adjust, strategize, plan -- and execute. I cannot recommend Jared and his many services highly enough. Peter Fitts, LCSW-C Chesapeake ADHD Center, Rockville, MD
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